If you don’t have conflict in your life right now, something’s wrong.
Feels weird to say that, right? But it’s true.
Most people have a negative connection with conflict, and are even afraid of it. This comes from past programming that you’ve had in your life. We’ve all experienced conflict that wasn’t handled well and ultimately wasn’t productive, and that influenced how we felt about tough conversations. If they’re all like that, why would I want to deal with it again? How often in your life have you turned away from a conversation because you knew it had the potential to blow up? But it doesn’t have to be that way. I’m strengthened by conflict, and so are you.
Conflict creates change, and change creates growth.
Think about all the life lessons you hold close to you. They probably all emerged from some kind of struggle that you’ve experienced in your life. As painful as those moments are, you’re stronger and smarter because of them.
In recent years, psychologists have become aware of the phenomenon known as “post conflict growth.” This term was coined by Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun, who interviewed dozens of people who experienced traumatic life events. They found that for many of these people, dealing with huge traumatic conflict released a surge of personal development and growth. It wasn’t just a coping skill, they actually gained significant benefits from it. In Tedeschi and Calhoun’s terms, they experienced “positive life changes”. They gained new inner strength, and often developed skills and abilities that they never knew they had before.
Conflict doesn’t hinder us, it strengthens us.
To summarize, here are three reasons why conflict is so important.
1. Conflict creates growth
Change comes from growth, and growth comes from conflict. The fastest way for you to reach the next level is to not just accept conflict, but embrace it. Have a tough conversation with the boss? Be grateful for what you learned. Need to bring up a thorny topic with a peer? Thank them for being part of the solution. There’s always room for gratitude.
2. Conflict allows for achieving resolution
Understanding is found from productive conflict; it’s a natural disagreement that must happen in order to discover the problem and how it can be solved. It’s just a simple truth that your life won’t evolve if you’re not regularly clearing out the unresolved conflict in your life. That’s something to be celebrated, not feared.
3. Conflict makes you stronger
To become stronger, you need progression. It’s like when you try a new workout program, and the first few weeks are rough. You can barely move because you’re so sore, and each new exercise sets your muscles on fire. But then you notice that the more you’re pushing yourself, the more you change, and the stronger you become.
Sales warriors know that, without conflict, there is no change. Every prospect who’s interested in buying from you will have some sort of objection. One thing I know is that the prospects you speak with who don’t have objections almost definitely aren’t going to buy from you. Objections are just a natural part of the buying process; it’s a sign your prospect is actively working through it in their mind, and that’s exactly what you want. That’s why sales warriors aren’t just prepared for conflict, they welcome it.
Objections are nothing more than feedback, and the more objections you hear, the closer you are to closing the sale. Feedback is the path to mastery. You can’t handle your buyers’ objections until you know what they are.
Imagine the certainty you’ll have when you know exactly what’s holding the buyer back from choosing you, over all alternatives. That’s what having no fear of conflict is all about.
Always remember this: Conflict isn’t a negative in the hands of a sales warrior who wants to improve their prospects’ lives.
Want to grow? Embrace conflict in a positive way and the world is yours.
Traditional Sales And Leadership Training Fails To Address The Real Problem!
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Jason Forrest
Jason Forrest has disrupted the sales training industry by creating the first training program that changes behavior. This is done through 1) teaching tactical real-world processes; 2) the language of persuasion, 3) removing the mental leashes that hold people back, and 4) through a program-based training approach. This philosophy is what led his Warrior Selling® and Leadership Sales Coaching programs to be ranked in the top 2 of the World’s Top Sales Development Programs, by Global Gurus. His provocative style of speaking his truth ranks him at number 5 on the Global Sales Guru list.
Jason is a Master Practitioner in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, the science of influence and behavioral change. He is also a Practitioner in Accelerated Evolution, the psychology of removing fear in high performers.
